Broken: Episode 19

As she drove away with her fiancé, all I could think of was the series of mistakes I made that led me here. Complication and confusion were the order of the day, the only woman I was willing to give all of myself to probably feels nothing but hatred for me at the moment. I stood outside trying to figure out what I was going to do or say to her if she finally replies my texts or picks my calls, I was cut short by an incoming call on my phone; it was Brenda, she wanted to ask what I would like to have for dinner since I already told her I was spending the night at her place again. I told her to make anything since I was really hungry. I went back into the office and decided to pack up my things and head out for the day when Cynthia walked up to me with a sad look on her face and said;

“Did I ruin things between you guys?”

I hesitated before I gave her an answer, I told her there was nothing to be sorry about because it was a mistake and this was when I noticed how uneasy she felt with what I said so I asked if she was okay.

“I lied” She said with a crack in her voice.

“Lied about what?” I asked inquisitively.

“I wasn’t drunk when I told Kofo about us, I don’t know why I did it, it wasn’t out of jealousy or anything but it just happened. I’m not trying to justify my action but I’m really sorry Bayo. Please forgive me.”

Words couldn’t explain how I felt. I stared at her with so much contempt buried within me, I couldn’t lash out at her, all I could do was tell her to figure out a way for us to fix this. As we tried to come up with a solution, I got a call from my boss asking me to come to his office immediately. I knew all my reports were compiled and up to date so I was so sure that I wasn’t in trouble with him.

The look on his face when I entered his office wasn’t a good one, in his hand was a letter that he had been reading, so I assumed it had to be that.

“I’m reading a request for transfer letter that was written and signed by Kofo and I’m going to assume that as her supervisor, you had no idea that she’s applying for this”

I stood there shocked and speechless because this wasn’t on the list of things I was expecting him to talk to me about.

“Sir, I had no idea that she requested for a transfer and I’m going to get to the bottom of this and find out why” I said with confusion written all over my face.

As I walked out of his office, I tried to figure out why she would want a transfer. Was it because of what she just found out about Cynthia and I or this had to do with her new engagement status? I didn’t know what to think. I got back downstairs and Cynthia was still waiting for me, after so much probing, she admitted that she knew about the transfer and it had nothing to do with us. Kofo's fiancé got a new job in Abuja and he wanted Kofo to come with him since the bank had another branch over there she could complete her service over there.

It finally dawned on me that Kofo was going to leave and might not come back forever. She moves there for her service, they get married after and she starts her new life while I’m over here wallowing in sorrow and sulking about how I lost my one reason to be really happy. Cynthia and I sat down thinking about what to do but she finally spoke up and told me I have to fight for Kofo, I have to be persistent, staying here and doing nothing wasn’t going to help anybody and I agreed with her. I rushed out like a mad man chasing a dog to get into my car and drove over to Kofo’s place, I wasn’t sure if she was going to be home but it was worth a try, I drove over hurriedly and as I approached her house, I noticed her fiancé’s vehicle parked outside so I was quite certain that she was home. I parked and walked hurriedly to the doorway and knocked till I got a reply, I was happy to see her face but once again her smile was nowhere to be found, I went ahead to apologize for what happened between Cynthia and I then I decide to pour out my feelings to her:

“There is no pretending, I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then. Sometimes you want to say, I love you, but…Yet the “but” takes away the ‘I love you’. In love there are no ‘buts’ or ‘if’s’ or ‘when’. It’s just there, and always. No beginning, no end. It’s the condition-less state of the heart. Not a feeling that comes and goes at the whim of the emotions. It is there in our heart, a part of our heart, eventually grafting itself into each limb and cell of our bodies. Love changes our brain, the way we move and talk. Love lives in our spirit and graces us with its presence each day, until death. I say this to you now: I love you, with no beginning, no end. I love you as you have become an extra necessary organ in my body. I love you as only a man could love a woman. Without fear. Without expectations. Wanting nothing in return, except that you allow me to keep you here in my heart, that I may always know your strength, your eyes, and your spirit that gave me freedom and let me fly.”

I felt a smile creep up on her face as I laid out this words to her, but we were cut short by Bayo the fiancé who had been eavesdropping behind the door all along, he walked out in anger and met my face with a nice punch. I fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes and couldn’t move for a while, I think I was unconscious, everything was so vague but all I could hear was Kofo’s voice as she pleaded with him to leave me alone. After some minutes, I regained my senses and walked to my car and drove off.

I had no idea where I was going but I just kept driving. I finally came to a stop and I found myself in front of Brenda’s house. I stumbled to her doorway and knocked, her face was filled with horror as she saw the black eye that was given to me. We went in and I explained everything that happened to me as she massaged the side of my face with an ice-pack and she got me some painkillers. I told her about how in love I was with Kofo and I might not get over her, I went on further to tell her that I was hoping the feelings were dead but I was wrong. She was sad as I explained my misery to her but then she turned to me and said

“Does she make you happy?” She asked with teary eyes.

“Yes she does, in more ways than I can explain.” I replied.

“Then do everything you can to make her yours”. I couldn’t believe that someone like Brenda could be so selfless and give me such good advice, I knew that’s what I had to do but first I had to rest because that punch came with a killer headache and I had to get myself re-energized in case I get more punches when I go to fight for what’s meant to be mine the next day.

...to be continued