The Afterlife

Rooney and AY are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife.

So AY dies. Rooney doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s AY.

"So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?" Rooney asks.

"Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have s*x, lots of s*x. Then I go back to sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more s*x, take a nap. Huge dinner. More s*x. Go to sleep and wake up the next day."

"Oh, my God," says Rooney. "So that’s what heaven is like?"

"Oh no," says AY. "I’m not in heaven. I’m a monkey in a Nigerian zoo."