General Jokes

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."I bought her a bathroom scale.

A conversation between 2 retailers...UCHE: Emeka, how's your business?EMEKA: Business is really bad! Yesterday I sold one dress.UCHE: That's really bad, how about today?EMEKA:...

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the boss's' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the...

A mad man was walking unclad in the a zoo. On seeing him, all the animals started running away from him. The Hyena asked the Lion, ''Lion, why are you afraid of that animal?" The...

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the toilet, the...

A man walked into an appliance store and asked the price of a 25? remote controlled color television set.One dollar, the clerk replied.Youve got to be kidding.Look, Mac, the clerk...

A young guy went for a job interview. Unfortunately, on his way to the job interview, he got himself very drunk.Along the line (during the interview) he was asked, "What is your...

MICHAEL: Akpos, please send a text to Kasim and tell him we have to meet later in the day.AKPOS: Take my phone and send a text to him yourself. MICHAEL: Why don't you want to send...

A 90 year-old man who had played golf every day since his retirement 35 years before, arrived home furious and said to his wife, "That's it! I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has...

Quarrel between a Fat man and a Thin man...FAT MAN TO THIN MAN: You know, you make me wonder whether there was a famine in the place you live.THIN MAN TO FAT MAN: You know, you...

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